You desire to achieve big things in your life (and/or become the person you’ve always wanted to be). You want more out of life; a better future. If not, you wouldn’t be investing the time in reading this post. But on a day-to-day basis are you actually doing what you really need to do to make it happen? Or are you focusing most of our energy on the hurdles in your way? I know I wasn’t doing what I needed to do. Dixie Gillaspie, in her wonderful book, Just Blow it Up: Firepower for Living an Unlimited Life says, “Most people spend more time defending their obstacles than going after their dreams.” Therefore, we miss out on the life we truly desire.
I spent much of my early career doing what other people – my boss, my spouse, my friends – told me that I should do. What they described as ‘a great opportunity’ for me. I’m embarrassed to say that at the time I never asked any questions. Questions like “so why is it a good opportunity?” or “what will I get out of it?” or even “Is it really what I want to do?” Instead I simply did what others – all well-intended, of course – told me to do. I didn’t think for a moment they may have their own agenda or reasons why they wanted me to do that work.
Then I got to the point where I needed to keep doing what I had learned to do fairly well because, say it with me now, “I had to pay the bills.” I hadn’t ever really thought about what I wanted to do. Instead I was justifying by telling myself ‘I just don’t have the time’, ‘I need to take care of my family [financially]’, and ‘I’m not at a place in my life right now where I can take any risks.’ All excuses…I was 100% focused on the obstacles, the challenges, the reason not to do something great.
For me the wake-up call came, well, in a call. (Although the lay-off came soon after, that wasn’t actually the triggering event.) I was fairly, but not exceptionally, successfully working within a large corporate environment. I was actually on the senior management team in the IT area, but I was leading a corporate roll-out of a new people management model. That faithful day, I was on a coaching call from the vendor of the model we were rolling out. The first question the coach asked me was “Why the hell are you working at [big corporation]?” He said, “None of your talents, gifts, passions, desires, or personal values are supported within their culture. So why are you there?”
My first thought was, “Oh man, I have 3 more calls with this guy. How much harder are the questions going to get later on, if this is the first one?” But in that instance I knew he was right. I realized my true response was as lame as they get…’because I needed the money.’ In that instant I knew that I had been using my obstacles, my hurdles that I would need to overcome, as reasons for not doing what I really wanted to do. I was using them as excuses for not even asking myself what I really wanted to do.
Today, ten years later I can say on that day I started the journey of identifying what I really wanted to do, putting a plan in place to get there, and today I have the best job (for me) in the world. You see, today – besides taking complete control of my time eight years ago – I get to ask other people “what do you really want to do, be and have in your life? What do you truly desire?” Then help them get there!
Now I get to help them achieve those dreams…even if their first response is “but I can’t, because…” or “but I can’t just…” It is so rewarding, so fun, so exciting…
Question: So what’s stopping you from achieving what you truly want; getting the results you truly desire; and/or becoming the incredible person you’ve always wanted to become?
